Shiny Side Down Excuses
Lea
First:
Super steep river bank with deep ruts and sandy sections. Lea slid sideways into hole. To get out, she had to ride up two feet at an incredibly steep angle. I’m piss-proud that I didn’t chicken out. I opened the throttle and over the hill she flew. The landing was a little all over the place and horizontal though. No damage except a deep purple bruise on my hip, and a crack in the faring that was quickly fixed with superglue. The lesson: more confidence on the throttle to prevent initial sliding and lean forward, looking at where you want to land. I think anyway - I’m obviously no expert.
Second:
It wasn’t me! Someone pushed her over! Honestly! She was parked on a slight hill in a residential street in East Hollywood, LA. When I popped by the next day, she was sprawled on the floor and a car had parked in super tight. Luckily no harm done, she just leaked a little petrol. Not cool though, pushing over someone’s pride and joy and not even trying to pick her up… anyhow, maybe they were just worried they’d do more harm than good…
Third:
Should’ve known that riding part of the Baja 1000 2022 race course would be a tad challenging. We did it at more of a snail’s pace… maybe that was the problem.
Lea’s sexy new Battlax A41 tires were so grippy, they caught onto the sidewall of the deep rut we found ourselves in and pulled her unexpectedly up to the right. Should’ve just gone with the flow, but I panicked and pulled in the clutch instead of opening the throttle to give the force she needed to hop out of the rut. Whoops! (Yes, I know, I’m a scaredicat!)
Slow-speed crash, so no harm done. Except I suddenly felt a little less confident in my skills. Picked her up all by myself though :D
Fourth:
I have no idea how this happened. Zero. The hardpacked gravel dirt was smooth, without bumps and grippy. A perfect unpaved road, not too steep and not a tight bend.
All I know is that I was super tired. We’d been riding the toughest roads I’d ever ridden all day, and I was super tired! Lea was bucking in a strange way, skipping a beat and feeling out of breath. But we weren’t THAT high up in the mountains… Struggling a bit harder than usual to get from first past neutral into second at slow speeds too. Maybe I locked the wheel for a second somehow? (Turned out later she was much lower on fuel than I thought and on the steep sections the carbs were starved.)
Fifth:
Why does it never look as difficult in the photos as the super steep, shit-your-pants scary reality? This was a crazy steep downhill section with water running down the ravines full of loose rocks. The bike was jumping about like crazy, bumping over rocks and through deep ruts, slipping and sliding as I am using engine braking and feathering the brakes.
I was too timid and let the engine cut out. Gathering speed with the clutch in as I hit the starter button, I lost control and down we went.
It's even more scary to get going again after picking her up. Confidence shattered and standing still, wheels poised to bounce over the loose rocks as you set off without momentum to keep you upright... Close eyes, breathe, realise that you can't stay on this mountain forever, and... and.... ya ok, come on, GO!
Sixth:
This is what happens when you try to take a picture while riding. (Note that in this picture Lea is facing backwards to our riding direction.)
The road looks like easy to ride smooth, hard-packed dirt. But it has a treacherous dusting of sand on it that whips the rear tire away from underneath you. My left hand was busy with the camera when the bike started going down, unable to pull the clutch in. Trying to hold her with the right I twisted the throttle open, causing the rear wheel to keep spinning and Lea to do a neat 180 around my foot on the ground before I let go.
It’s only when I walked away to take a photo that I realized she is pretty close to the edge and could just as easily have flicked herself down the steep bank. Whoops!
Oh, and I did manage to pick her up by myself this time before Aidan was any the wiser :D
Seventh:
And this is what happens when you ride off with the disk lock on. Whoops! A tad embarrassing! Nothing hurt, except my pride, maybe. A nearby worker rushed over to help me pick Lea up and when I pointed out what happened, we had a good laugh :D
Eighth:
We’d been told of a secret spot to access Laguna de Apoyo in Nicaragua. It’s at the end of a long dirt road, which turns into cow trails past a sort of country club. Parked the bikes at the edge of the cliff and climbed down the rocky track to the lake, just as it started raining. The swim in the lake as the drops sparkly drops gently patter on the surface was magical.
The rain stopped soon after, but on the way back up some sections had become so slippery, we struggled to climb back out. I joked that it might be a tad slippery to ride the bikes back to the main road. Little did I know HOW slippery!
We were sliding and falling all over the place. Lea, being lighter, was more manageable and only went down once. But with the low mudguard, her wheel got stuck and wouldn’t turn, simply sliding sideway, and I had to pick out mud with a screw driver every two metres (no exaggeration)! A helpful club member in his 4x4 encouragingly said “don’t worry, after two hundred metres, the road gets better!” I may have cried a little with frustration…
Ninth:
Found a gorgeous beach on Lago Cocibolca with stunning views of the Volcanos on Omotepe. The nearby wind turbines should have been a hint… The wind soon picked up, blowing sand into our tent, our food, everything. I re-parked Lea to be able to tie the rain tarp to her - the pegs were just not staying in the sandy ground, not even weighed down with rocks. The tarp flapped wildly all night, but the set-up held.
Around 6am a thunderstorm unloaded a deluge on us and I was glad for the tarp, as our tent can’t hold off that kind of rain. We sipped our sandy coffee, listening to the chaos safely kept outside.
Suddenly a thud and the tarp is flapping off the tent! Lea had sunk in the softened ground and fallen over, tearing the tarp string! We had to go outside and rescue the situation. Within milliseconds we were soaked, rain running down my legs, straight into my boots! By the time we had Lea upright and the tarp tied back down, I literally poured water out of my boots! Back in the safety of our tent, toweling down, we burst out laughing. What a ridiculous morning! Now we were definitely awake! And freshly showered, too. My boots remained wet for days!
And no, no picture for this one. Sorry! We don’t own any under-water cameras…
Tenth:
“The bike will go where you look.” - Yeah, I know that, but that didn’t stop me from staring at the rock-filled rut I was trying very hard not to slip into. Just long enough until I did slip in of course!
Now for the excuse part: I had just persuaded my breathless carbureted lil bike over a 4800m mountain pass. Now it was steeply down switchbacks on the other side.
But the expected relief didn’t kick in. Landslides had only just been cleared and we’d been swimming through several kilometers of soft rocky dirt, the bike constantly speeding up on the steep downward slope despite full engine braking, and me trying to brake just enough, but not too much, so as to not slide over the edge. Here the ground was more solid, with deep tire tracks and water run-offs. Stare at one too long, and in you go! Of course I did the wrong thing, stiffened up and hit the brakes, so instead of smoothly riding out, we just went plop!
Eleventh:
Same day as above, but several tough, concentration-demanding dirt and gravel roads later. This section was relatively easy, if a tad narrow and with a thin layer of loose stuff to make it a bit slippery. By now I was TIRED and distracted by the breathtaking yellow, orange and red cacti-studded canyon, along whose slopes we were descending down to a roaring river.
Normally I shoot photos while riding, but on bumpy roads I often shake too much and the picture is blurred. So when I saw Aidan up ahead, riding into the perfect shot, I hit the brakes to try and focus properly. A tad too hard for the surface it seems, and down Lea went. Whoops! Sorry my girl! And the picture? I jumped off and got it. Just!
No harm done. I even picked her up by myself before Aidan noticed. So I could get away with not mentioning it here. But then we’d never know who’s really in the lead by the end of the trip!
Twelfth:
Her fault entirely, I swear! It doesn’t look it, but this hill is pretty steep and at altitude. Add the lack of traction on the dirt, and Lea couldn’t get up there. No power with her breathless carb and dusty air filter. So I pulled up to adjust the carb a little.
And she decided to keel over, just as I’d opened the tool roll, spanners spilling everywhere. Tried to hold her, but only caught the faring. Big crack in the plastic, and down she went. in comical slow motion.
Aidan was walking back to see what took me so long and incredulously asked: “Why did you just lie her down?!?” Of course I didn’t! She did it all by herself! In protest at the steep hill maybe? We did have to push her up there in the end…
Precious petrol spilling, so no time for a photo. So here’s one of where it all happened - crash site with a view :)
Thirteenth:
Mud, glorious mud! It had been raining a solid eighteen hours, starting the day before, and still going as we left the hotel. The plan was to ride out of it, but the clouds had other ideas, hanging between the mountaintops, continuously dumping on us. How much water can be up there?
When it finally stopped, the dirt road had become a mix of rock-speckled mud and tiny rivers. And now that it stopped raining, the watery mess began to dry into a slimy goo that had us slipping and sliding everywhere. On a particularly steep downhill bit, I was too cautious, touched the brake for a tiny bit too long and locked up the front wheel. We keeled over and slid to a halt.
No big deal, except a truck that had tried to get up the hill, couldn’t make it all the way and started sliding backwards in our direction. We rushed to pick up the bike and get out of his way, so all you get is a photo of the muddy tire, which doesn’t even look that bad on camera!
Fourteenth:
Hehe, this is what happens when your front brake works really well, the rear brake is a weak drum brake and you’re trying to stop your fully loaded bike pretty suddenly on gravel because you’ve seen a good photo opportunity ;)
Are you starting to see a pattern here? I’ve done this exact same thing before, only this time the photo wasn’t even that great, and being a landscape, it wasn’t going anywhere, so I could have taken all the time in the world!
Sorry Lea, guilty as charged :/
Broke the tool roll lid on a big rock, too. The tool roll that’s down by the engine. Super lucky it didn’t hit the engine casing instead!!! As it is, it’s nothing that a ton if super glue and duct tape can’t fix, even if the roll is no longer watertight…
Fifteenth:
Long day on the notoriously difficult yet stunningly beautiful Lagunas Route. It’s the end of the day and the evening sun is bringing out the intense colours of Laguna Colorada. Sandy road, stopping to take a photo… see what I mean about a pattern? I never learn, do I?
In my defense, this time I was in a rush. The sun was setting soon and it was beginning to get freezing cold in the stiff breeze. We still had to find a hotel and hope they had room, since the dozens of tour groups tend to book them up.
And really, she’s only leaning against the sand bank, so the shiny side isn’t all the way down ;) As good a position as any to take that photo…
Sixteenth:
More gravel, still the same excellent front brake and nearly non-existent rear brake…. I will learn eventually, I promise!
Not a photo op this time, just stopping to say hi to these guys on the Lagunas Route, make sure they didn’t have a bike troubles and had just stopped for a break.
Imagine their surprise at my showing up and crashing right in front of them. Whoops! They were even more surprised when I insisted on snapping a photo before allowing them to help me pick Lea up.
Turns out they were all good though, two local park rangers just pulled over for a break. Like us, they were heading for a dip in the hot springs. A quick cursory check of our national park ticket, and we were all on our way. They are probably still wondering, what the heck all that was about ;)
Pippa
First:
No excuse really. Aidan was just challenging himself to ride better and faster, standing up when he was suddenly met by deep, soft sand. And down they went.
Aidan got his foot stuck under the pannier and twisted the knee. Luckily the knee still bends the right way and nothing was broken. But ouch!
Second:
That was entirely Pippa’s fault. We left her where she’d got stuck in the dune and went exploring the beach to find the best spot to pitch the tent on a windy evening. When we turned around to take in the views, there she was, slowly but surely keeling over! We ran to the rescue, but in the deep sand that was more of a slow motion sprint and we got there far too late. Pippa was snugly lying down, slowly dripping our precious water from a leaking container.
Third:
That’s what you get for trying to be nice: A dumper truck on a schedule was turning into the quarry in Guatemala that we were just riding out from and Aidan rushed to get out of his way. In his haste Aidan misstepped and Pippa went for a little snooze in the ditch.
A couple of nice scooter riders and rushed to help and Aidan was back up in no time, as if nothing happened.
Fourth and Fifth:
Same situation as Lea’s #8 above. Only Pippa is loads heavier and even long-legged Aidan couldn’t hold her. Especially since his boots were slipping as much as Pippa’s tires.
She went down twice.
The first time the pannier landed on Aidan’s foot and he was real stuck till I could come and help him lift the bike. Hurt like hell, too! Still not healed days later. We suspect cracked bones perhaps, definitely a nasty bruise. But the foot still moves the way it’s supposed to, so nothing broken we hope. Not much we can do except try not to move it too much and let it heal…
Finally unloaded Pippa in order to persuade her out of the slimiest sections and onto more solid ground. Huge mission that, sweat running down our backs in literal rivers!
Sixth:
I have no idea! Maybe Pippa was doe for the day and wanted to lie down and sunbathe on the beach?
We were looking for a camping spot on the beach and I braaped into the sand with light little Lea. I turned around and saw that heavy Pippa got stuck immediately. So I got busy securing Lea’s side stand on a branch and hopped off to help Aidan push Pippa. But when I turned to walk towards them, Pippa was cozily lying down, with Aidan standing over her… what the…?!?
Aidan’s explanation: “I tried to climb off to push Pippa on foot.” Whoops!
Seventh:
No photo! It all happened too fast!
A guy on a little scooter puled up alongside Aidan on the highway into Medellin to chat to him. He finally persuaded Aidan to pull over. Distracted by the conversation shouted through helmets in Spanish, Aidan didn’t realise he’d parked on a slope. The ground wasn’t where he expected it to be and his foot disappeared into nothingness. Down Pippa went with a bang :(
Since it had started raining, my cameras were hidden deep in my jacket. Scooter guy and a parking attendant had Pippa back upright before I could dig them out. (Not to mention, I almost went over, too, discovering the slope too late!)
And what did he want? He has a house with excellent views and loves hosting travelers, so he gave us his number and said to pop by to stay a night or two!
Eighth:
Lost in the mountains in Venezuela we ended up on a VERY steep sandy dirt road with lots of loose rocks. We had just pushed Lea uphill and I had used the momentum to go up and around the corner to the next flat bit.
Below I heard Aidan start Pippa and gun it full throttle, trying to keep up momentum so the bike would get up the hill under its own steam. Suddenly it was quiet, the engine had cut out. I ran back down around the corner with visions of Aidan stuck under the bike.
Luckily he was fine, finding rocks to stop the bike from sliding. We managed to heave her back up without sliding down and Aidan rode her out.
Ninth:
The tarmac of the gorgeous Colombian mountain roads wasn’t in the best shape and some sections are simply gravel. All that was too much for Pippa’s stretched chain and it jumped of, got stuck, stopped the rear tire dead mid-gravelly ascent and down Aidan went.
Not much he could have done different really. He knew he needed a new chain, but we had to make it to Bogota where one could be procured. Luckily no damage done. A bus driver helped us heave the bike to the side of the road where we could pop the chain back on and on we went. It did pop off a few more times, but those Aidan remained upright. And we did make it to Bogota, where it was swapped out successfully :)
Tenth:
You don’t expect rain in the desert, do you?
But rain it did as we left our camping spot in the beautiful Tatacoa Desert of Colombia. Yesterday in the dry the roads had been a tad slippery, sandy as they were. But this morning they had become a slimy nightmare!
Sexy new tires or no, they are only 90/10 and not made for this stuff. So when Pippa met some extra deep mud just as she was cresting a hill, Aidan couldn’t hold her, his boots sliding, too.
His foot got painfully stuck under the pannier and may or may not be broken. We’re letting it rest over Christmas…
